Sheridan Prasso Takes on an Elephant: The Asian Mystique – An Important Book That Boldly Tackles Uncomfortable Realities (well, almost)

Sheridan Prasso Takes on an Elephant: The Asian Mystique – An Important Book That Boldly Tackles Uncomfortable Realities (well, almost)

A Book Review by Lu Xun

The Asian Mystique
By Sheridan Prasso
Public Affairs, 2005
437 pages (with Index and photos)
Can be found in most bookstores including Amazon.com

There is a passage buried toward the end of Sheridan Prasso’s (mostly) wonderful new book, The Asian Mystique, that seems to have escaped the attention of most of the reviews (which have generally been positive) that I’ve read of her book. In contrast to the journalistic and/or scholarly approach she takes to the issues dealt with in The Asian Mystique, the passage in question provides a rare glimpse into the author’s own personal experience with the issues tackled in her book.

On page 393 of The Asian Mystique (in the middle of the Epilogue), Sheridan describes one situation she dealt with as the Asia Editor of Business Week. She and others on the editorial staff were discussing what photo to use for a cover story on Coca-Cola’s expansion into Asia. The photo under consideration was that of a young Chinese woman “sucking suggestively on a straw protruding from a Coke can.” A female assistant managing editor – presumably, still young, somewhat naïve as to the ways of the publishing business, and full of idealism about the depiction of women – objected to the photo as being “too come-hither”; too obviously playing on the over-eroticization and objectification of Asian women.

Ms. Prasso was the only other woman in that meeting. Sheridan knew that the other female editor was correct. All eyes turned to her. “It doesn’t bother me so much. I guess it sells magazines,” said the grizzled veteran of Asia and the publishing business. The woman who earned a master’s degree from Cambridge University in the study of people (Social Anthropology) all of a sudden became one of the guys. One of the guys that took Cathay Pacific or Singapore Airlines for the easy-on-the-eye (and easy-in-the-sack) stewardesses. One of the guys that felt a cushy Asia assignment was one big exercise in droit seigneur, 19th century colonialist style.

I’m not a psychologist and I can’t say for sure whether incidents like this or the no doubt numerous similar incidents planted the seed in her mind for what eventually became this interesting and important book. Notwithstanding, if writing The Asian Mystique was some sort of penance or atonement for helping to perpetuate what Sheridan calls ‘the Asian mystique,’ then she seems well on her way to achieving absolution because Ms. Prasso tackles the racist sexual stereotypes about Asians – and the consequences of such ideas – in a refreshingly forthright manner.

There is much to praise in her new book. As far as I know it, it is the first popular and serious book to sincerely take on the eroticization of Asian females, the emasculation of Asian males, the role that Whites (especially men) have played in creating and perpetuating such harmful stereotypes, and the results of such prevailing attitudes. All of that is mostly dealt with in the first half of her book. The second half of her book, which continues to touch upon those issues, diverges from the first half of the book by becoming a travelogue of sorts chronicling the lives of female prostitutes in Thailand, Philippines, and other parts of Asia; housewives and geishas of Japan; young female professionals and students in China; and the aforementioned Cathay and Singapore Girls.

Although the vast majority of The Asian Mystique deserves praise, there are parts of Sheridan Prasso’s book that deserve some criticism. In spite of some flaws in her book, I would still highly recommend her book because the positives far outweigh the negatives.

Much to praise …

The most praiseworthy aspect of this book is that Ms. Prasso takes on the proverbial ‘elephant in the room.’ In the case of Asians and Asian Americans (and Asian ex-pats outside of Asia), the ‘elephant in the room’ is the racist sexual and gender-based stereotypes about Asians. These stereotypes can be broken down into the following factors:

(a) Asian women (and, literally, girls) are treated as servile, sub-human – e.g., as Ms. Prasso points out, the commonly used term by White men for Southeast Asian women are “LBFMs,” Little Brown Fucking Machines (not humans, but machines) – playthings tailored made for the sexual pleasure of White men. Whether Asian women are depicted as coquettish Madam Butterfly/school girl/mail-order bride characters that are simultaneously ‘innocent’ yet hyper-sexual, and/or are depicted as Dragon Ladies that must be tamed by White ‘knights’ (and, as the book points out, the depictions are not seen as being mutually exclusive), Asian women are products of what one person on ModelMinority.com pointed out as White men’s attitudes about Asia: “Asia is a giant factory for women.”;

(b) Asian men are treated as servile, sub-humans that fit either or both of the two following categories: (1) Emasculated, ineffectual eunuchs and/or penis-less coolies that only exist as cheap (non-sexual, presuming they’re straight) labor for White men and/or as quasi-pimps that giddily ‘tolerate’ their sisters and daughters being used as disposable sex toys by White men; and/or (2) Sinister, conniving, perverted ‘Fu Manchu’ characters that are plotting to sabotage the White man’s world, take over the world, and beguile unsuspecting blonde White women into their malevolent underworld. Asian men can’t compete for Asian women much less any other sort of women in the face of the ‘obvious’ superiority of the White man and if we complain about it then we are somehow whiney or even racist even though the facts and logic seem to indicate that it’s actually Whites who are far more deserving of the tags of racism and being whiney (especially when they don’t get their way with Asians or other non-Whites).; and

(c) All of these stereotypes, racist propaganda, and prevailing realities, all lead to a staggering disparity in interracial relationships when comparing Asian female/White male couplings to the opposite type of coupling in both Asia and in the ‘West.’ [As I’ve pointed out elsewhere, and as Ms. Prasso sort of does as well, the real numbers are far worse because the available statistics only cover marriages and not cohabitation or dating.] As Ms. Prasso admirably attempts to point out, these racist sexual and gender stereotypes also play negative roles in non-sexual/non-romantic interactions between Asians and non-Asians. For example, in business relationships, White men are taken aback by the fact that Asian men may actually want to get the benefits of a deal rather than handing over everything (along with a back rub by their Asian sisters) to Mr. White.

The Asian Mystique does an almost encyclopedic job of forthrightly dealing with all of these issues. That alone is to Ms. Prasso’s eternal credit.

Besides the groundbreaking work (at least for a serious White ‘Asia hand’ – a somewhat high-handed term, but oh well) in exposing the proverbial elephant in the room, Ms. Prasso’s chronicling of the degrading, humiliating, and, frankly, disgusting treatment of Asian women involved in the sex ‘tourism’ industry that mostly caters to White men should raise our consciousness to the important issue of the dehumanization of our Asian sisters. It’s clear that parts of Asia have sadly become a playground for perverted sex abusers (including the abuse of Asian girls who are clearly under-aged) from the inscrutable Occident who are doing things they would be arrested for, or at least publicly shamed for, if they behaved similarly in the ‘civilized’ West.

But, frankly, perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised by what Sheridan reveals in her book. When a group of ‘civilized’ University of Virginia students this spring launched web-based groups like “People for the Propagation of the Asian Fetish” and “Americans for the Increased Importation of Asian Women” with mottos like “bang out Asians. Bang hard or go home. Yes, even the ugly bitches”; “I can’t help if my dick likes the taste of Teriyaki sauce. Or soy.”; and “we believe Asian females are one of our country’s most valuable assets,” perhaps we shouldn’t wonder whether even the most upwardly mobile Asian females aren’t caught up in the same sort of cesspool that their sisters in the slums of Thailand and the Philippines are caught up in (but perhaps with less justification for their worship of Whiteness).

Another service that Sheridan’s book provides is that – while it fairly apportions plenty of blame to White men – it also points out the existence of what I call ‘White worship’ among Asian females in both Asia and in the West. What I mean by ‘White worship’ is the idea that somehow being White confers some sort of superiority, security, or upward mobility. In that sense, ‘White worship’ is not confined to the Asian community (e.g., the debate over the role of skin tone among African Americans and Africans). In an ideal world, I hope we can value each other as fellow human beings without this sort of nonsense. Regardless of that hope, Sheridan is right to put some of the blame for the current state of affairs onto Asians (mostly females) that irrationally over-value Whiteness, European features, and being with White men. This ‘White worship’ is akin to some sort of quasi-messianic religion where the expectation seems to be that Whiteness will somehow bring all kinds of imagined benefits. The reality is that these Asian women are worshipping false gods and false messiahs. Perhaps the facts and analysis in The Asian Mystique may open people’s eyes to that. Sadly, it probably won’t.

… But deserves some criticism

Although I am generally supportive of this book, I think this book does have some flaws that are worth addressing. Having said that, in fairness to Ms. Prasso, even her flaws seem to be born out of sincere intentions. Thus, any criticism of The Asian Mystique should be tempered by that idea.

As an Asian American man, I am both grateful to, yet slightly peeved by, Ms. Prasso’s sincere attempt at defending Asian males. She devotes at least one entire chapter (and really more than that) to trying to point out racist propaganda directed against Asian men and makes some attempts at redeeming Asian male honor. Her almost encyclopedic analysis of the defamatory treatment of Asian men – ranging from Fu Manchu to Long Duk Dong – deserves the highest praise. She also points out how Asian male entertainers – usually martial artists – who are seen as virile sex symbols in Asia are reduced to comic asexual caricatures when they come to Hollywood.

However, I take issue with some of the things she says in a confusing part of her book where she seems to be justifying stereotypes against Asian men (or perhaps she is just trying to be fair and balanced by trying to show where the stereotypes might be coming from … who knows). She suggests that Chinese men wore feminine clothing that inspired the (in)famous qipao (cheongsam in Cantonese), the stereotypical attire of ‘China Dolls’ and ‘Dragon Ladies.’ This left me scratching my head because Scottish men wear kilts yet no one questions their manhood or thinks it is a basis to question their masculinity.

Sheridan also points out silly trivia like the availability of male ‘cosmetics’ by a Japanese cosmetics company to suggest effeminateness on the part of Asian men. I can assure her that I have never, and do not plan on, wearing cosmetics. Also, considering the prevalence of White men who are ‘metrosexuals’ (e.g., Ryan Seacrest) and probably use cosmetics, it seems more logical to accuse White men of tending to be ‘feminine.’

Sheridan – who, to her credit, criticizes the unfair and ridiculous depiction of Asian men as being gay (when they are no more or less likely to be gay) by media outlets like Details magazine – makes odd statements about the acceptability of homosexuality among some of the Chinese nobility and Japanese samurai. I would take issue with the veracity of the supposed ‘facts’ she cites with regard to this issue but – even if I, for the sake of argument, agreed with her about those notions – her points on this issue aren’t well thought out. Most men weren’t samurais or nobles in Asia. Even if some sort of gay culture existed among these small number of men – which I highly doubt – how is this any different than the acceptability of homosexuality among the Ancient Greeks and the English nobility?

Finally, Sheridan cites some ‘statistics’ about relative heights of Asian men and relative penis sizes. Let me deal with height first. I’ve noticed that many of the White men that Asian women date are often short, shorter than many Asian men, and even shorter than the Asian women themselves! So does height really matter or is this really about race?

As for penis sizes … frankly, many of these White guys that Asian women seem to be swinging their legs open for like there is no tomorrow don’t appear to have large penises. Even Ms. Prasso points out in a section about Filipino prostitutes that penis size of the White guys weren’t really a turn-on. To make matters worse, Ms. Prasso – who is usually meticulous about properly citing sources – does not do that when she cites a rather dubious study (or studies, that isn’t totally clear either) that purports to reveal relative penis sizes.

There are two questions I would pose to Ms. Prasso, if I had the chance, with regard to the penis question: (1) Do you seriously think that Yao Ming has a three inch penis? (2) More seriously, do you really think the discrimination against Asian men are about penis sizes when you factor in the fact that many men find women to be attractive even when they don’t have double-D breasts and that many of these White guys having sex with Asian women probably have extremely small penises? Isn’t this really about racism?

Again, to be fair to The Asian Mystique, these passages that aren’t helpful to Asian men are more exceptions that the rule in Ms. Prasso’s book. Also, in fairness to her, she may have been trying to be balanced and trying to explore all of the angles that are put in play when Asian male sexuality is brought up.

Another area that I would take issue with is that she is often too uncritical of the people and groups she examines. In fairness to her, when she spots characters that are clearly perverts or criminals, she is upfront in her condemnation of them. There are large portions of this book revealing the seedy underbelly of the Asian fetish: Ultra-misogynists, potential child molesters, de facto prostitution / sex slavery rings, and White men who simultaneously want to ‘bang out’ Asian women yet hate Asians in an undeniably racist way.

Having said that, there are parts of her book which seem to scream out for more critical thinking and skepticism on the part of Ms. Prasso. She seems to take as a given that, if a White man (or an Asian woman) simply states that they’re not in an Asian fetishist relationship, then gosh and golly they just can’t be in one. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that White men (and Asian women) may feel like the heat is on and try to cover up unseemly aspects of their relationships.

She cites large portions of avowedly Asian fetishizing websites – ironic, since the whole point of the book seems to be to take blokes like that to task – without much skepticism. For example, she cites AsianWhite.org as providing something approaching a fair-minded defense of the Asian fetish when they are infamous for censoring any Asian man (or Asian woman who is offended by the boorish opinions expressed in its forums) who dare to speak their mind. By the way, these White male censors then have the nerve to come onto Asian American websites like ModelMinority.com and don’t have the guts to be honest about their identities; instead, they pretend they are Asian men and even Asian women (perhaps they can love themselves then!).

Sheridan Prasso’s soft-pedal approach to some of the figures in her book isn’t limited to White men with Asian fetishes (no matter how much they may deny it). There are many Asian women she talks to or talks about in her book. At some point I had the impression that the vast majority of them were sleeping with or married to (or wanted to marry) White men! After about the 200th Asian woman I encountered in the book dating or married to a White guy, I wanted to scream, “Sheridan, why don’t you ask them tougher questions about why they are doing this!”

There are times I began to think most of the stewardesses in Asia were only interested in White guys. There was one Japanese woman she mentioned who dated a bunch of White guys then settled on a Japanese man for marriage. Gee, thanks for throwing Asian men a bone! (By the way, that was sarcastic.) I’m ‘glad’ that that Japanese woman had her fun and is now finding Asian men to be a convenient fall back position. Makes me feel great. (Sarcasm again.)

The part of the book that made my blood boil the most was the seemingly nonchalant way in which Ms. Prasso mentioned Wei Hui, the author of the atrocious (perhaps someone could write about how an Asian woman writing a book about preferring sex with fascist White men, written by someone with the writing skills and stylings of a moron, can garner so much praise from the Western press and how all of that may have something to do with ‘the Asian mystique’) Shanghai Baby. Wei Hui’s anti-Asian male rants were so odious that the BBC World Service once voluntarily censored an interview with her (something the Beeb doesn’t like to do). If Wei Hui was a White man, then no one would question the fact that she is a Chinese-hating racist. Yet, somehow her viewpoint is seen as being okay even though Wei Hui should be the poster child for ‘the Asian mystique.’

Again, in Sheridan’s defense, she is being honest. Frankly, I would have been more offended and angry if she had produced yet another patronizing and dishonest portrayal of supposed color-blindness in East-West romantic relationships. The overwhelming majority of interracial relationships between Asians and Whites are between Asian women and White men. Those are the facts and I sincerely thank Sheridan for not soft-pedaling, being namby-pamby, or dishonest about that fact.

The final criticism I have isn’t really a criticism. It’s more a point of curiosity. Asian postings by Western companies and governments had been mostly a male affair (and to some extent it still is). There have been accounts – including published ones – of White women like Sheridan complaining about having their romantic lives put on hold when posted to Asia. One Asia Wall Street Journal article called it “Asia: Heaven for Men, Hell for Women.”

So that leads me to the following question: What is or was Ms. Prasso’s feelings toward Asian men? How much of it was affected by the propaganda and stereotypes that she dissects so admirably in her book? What was the affect of seeing thousands of Asian women abandoning Asian men for the ‘salvation’ of White men had on her image of Asian men as being possible romantic suitors?

Conclusion

This brings us back to the passage in The Asian Mystique about the two female editors of a Western business magazine in Asia. One of them pointed out the negative aspects of the Asian mystique. The other shrugged her shoulders to such concerns but wound up writing a brilliant book about it.

I don’t know what happened to the female assistant managing editor for Business Week in Asia. But if she ever finds herself in a similar situation, she can bring out a copy of The Asian Mystique to bolster her case.

I can say the same thing for Asian men and women, wherever they may be, interested in combating the corrosive racist sexual stereotypes that have been deployed against us. Buy this book. Read it carefully and skeptically. You won’t regret it.